Some fuckin' asshole had the nerve to steal a cute girl's bike outside Robinson last night after 11PM. Big sneaker foot prints were observed at the site of the crime scene.

Help bring justice to America (or at least to Stanford)!!! Any information leading to the recovery of my bike will be rewarded with a wonderful feeling of helping others and a healthy dose of good karma. Any maybe other things like a kiss on the cheek or delicious home-baked goodies.

Picture attached below. My bike has yellow wheels and a yellow seat. You can't miss it.