"Owning an Ikea couch is a precondition of the American dream." -- JFK

Today you have the extraordinary opportunity to fulfill your patriotic duty without breaking the bank. My roommate and I are offering this classic Ikea couch for the incredible price of $10.

Why is this price so incredible? It's like buying a $10 lunch at the GSB. But instead of getting a rubbery chicken, you get a lifetime's worth of comfort and value.

As a bonus feature, it has a small tear in the front for added rustic charm. It makes a statement -- that you don't play by the rules, and you don't care who knows it.