Hello ladies,

I am headed to Las Vegas on an empty G5 private jet this Spring Break weekend. Originally I was going to travel with half of the starting line of Stanford women's basketball team (I like them tall), but they are going to the Final Four and have been forbidden by their coach to go with me. Why?? It's not like they use their reproductive organs to play basketball, and the rest of their body wouldn't be injured. "Baylor's undefeated, they handle the ball well, blah blah blah" said the coach. Whatever, good for them.

Anyway, I can't stand the idea of flying on a G5 alone. I can't stand the thought of getting bottles alone at XS. I can't stand the possibility of winning thousands at the poker table, and not have anybody to sprinkle my chips on. This is a bad situation that needs to be rectified.

So, I want three ladies to join me. Each of you gets one suitcase for shoes, one suitcase for bikinis, and one for dresses. Hell, if you don't bring enough clothes, you can buy them at Vegas and charge them on my American Express Black card. We'll be at the pool, at the club, at the casino, at Cirque de Soleil. Boom. Penthouse at Aria.

Why three this time? We're gonna see a lot of shows and hit a lot of clubs, so I'll need one of you to pick up our tickets at will-call while the rest of us menage.

Who qualifies? You're at least 5'8" and have curves that get cars to drive off the road. You like to be treated well. You experiment. You're wild. You give Sin City every reason to live up to that moniker. A plus if you can dribble balls between your legs and serve an alley oop up to a fellow teammate...sorry, I just miss them.

If you want to fly and kill it in Vegas, shoot me an e-mail and I'll get your suitcases. Last one to respond gets will-call duty.