One of my close friends Brad will be getting married in July (woohoo!), but I get the following e-mail from another one of my close friends planning the "bachelor" "party." You'll see why I put both terms of that phrase in quotes in the following section. With the exception of names of people, the rest of the e-mail is left untouched. You cannot make this stuff up.

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Hey all,
With the Bradgelina wedding just over two months away, gota start thinking about the Bachelor Party. The wedding is on a Saturday, and since ppl will coming mostly from NYC, we're going to do the dinner/events the night before (Friday the 13th). Please plan to arrive BEFORE 6PM on FRIDAY! best location for a hotel is in Backbay.

Brad won't let me take him to a strip club or hire strippers, so that's kinda out (sorry Bob and [foxy-lady-writer]). We'll take him out to dinner around 7ish, and then either go to a lounge, or alternatively, setup 4 xboxes on widescreens at his place and play Mass Effect/GOW/Halo (thanks George!). Budget wise, dinner shouldn't be more than hundred pp and then i'll buy lots of alcohol for w/e we do later in the evening.

Please confirm your availability. BTW, just to be clear, only YOU are invited, no guests please (sorry)! Yes there are actually going to be non-dudes.

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Given that there are going to be X-box's and girlfriends (the 'non-dudes') there, I'm gonna take matters into my own hands. Thus, I need four strippers, all expenses paid - airfare, lodging, etc. The one requirement I have is that you be creative and disciplined at roleplay when you enter Brad's place before going into stripper mode - e.g. if you guys can fool Brad into thinking you are actually the landlord or law enforcement or the next door neighbors' nieces, things will run much more smoothly for the rest of the night. And if it goes really well, maybe I'll throw in a nice trip on my boat to Cape Cod for you ladies and a stay at Martha's Vineyard before we fly back to Stanford. Sounds like a good deal, yeah?

Four free flights to Boston, don't hold back, ladies.