Hello ladies,

It's me again. You know, the one and only, tall dark and handsome, blah blah blah huuge penis. Anyways, I'm looking for a fantasy goddess. I'm in this fantasy league with all my grad school classmates and I drafted pretty poorly. I mean, I chose Lamar Miller with my 4th round pick. My record is 3-3 and this week is really a crossroads, I either make the playoffs or I'm resigning to the consolation bracket. Anyways, I need to know, should I start Andrew Luck or Nick Foles this week? Foles is unproven but he did so well against the Bucs who have a decent secondary.

So, if you're a girl, and if you're pretty, and sweet, and if you've got some fantasy knowledge and intuition, please divulge it with me. Count this as a first date, an icebreaker, something for us to talk about during coffee or dinner or pillow talk. I mean honestly, I've got really nothing else in my life besides this and titrating solar cells for their gallium composition.

I don't want some girl I can pick off the waiver wire, I want you on my can't drop list. Good things will happen here for both of us, we meet up and we'll make it happen. You'll help me go on to make the playoffs, and for you, well, I'll be starting my Chiefs D in your D/ST slot every Sunday morning if you know what I mean.

And remember, huuge penis.

• TD&H

By the way that's not a picture of me, that's Nick Foles. DO I START HIM?