Looking for some old-fashioned stress relief

I am a normal guy, looking for a girl who wants to dress up as Rabbi Moshe Feinstein and erotically read some Talmud passages for me. We'll see where it goes from there ;), ideally sex.

Bring your own beard and tallit. Talmud and phylacteries will be provided.

Also I have a tiny penis.

(Citation: Unknown. Reb Moshe Feinstein. N.d. Reb Moshe Feinstein, N/A. Wikipedia. Web. 9 Dec. 2013.)